I hate my career

Wow. I hate how negative my new personal blog has become, but I’ve been in a professional rut lately and it’s true; I hate my job, my career, and my future prospects (which are non-existent, at least that’s how it feels).

So how did we get here?

Our story begins back in the NW suburbs of Chicago… just kidding, I won’t bore you with my life story. The gist of it is, I never really knew what I wanted to do—still don’t—and had the idea of always playing it safe and always having a back-up plan drilled into me from birth. Add that to the fact I’ve had severe anxiety my entire life, but didn’t do anything about it until I was 30. If not for going to a psychiatrist and taking some meds for anxiety, I don’t think foofaraw would exist and I probably wouldn’t be writing this right now.

So I played it safe.

I got a degree in “business,” went on to get my MBA (because I could get it in a year and had no idea what I was going to do with myself after college), took a job at the place I interned at, and was mostly always bored. I stayed there for years until COVID. In some ways, that was a blessing because it got me out of the company I had been at forever. However, now I’m a “business strategy consultant,” but couldn’t actually tell you what I do (not because it’s some secret, I just honestly don’t know).

And I still don’t really know what I want to do with myself. I often wonder if I’d made different decisions and started taking anxiety meds earlier in life, might things have been different? Might I have found myself in a more creative field? But for now, I have the Internet, with TIV and foofaraw as my creative outlets, keeping me sane as I go through the motions. Maybe one day I’ll have a job that doesn’t constantly make me want to jam a nail in my forehead.